Saying No

It can be very difficult to say no when someone asks you to do something. It could be a short contract for that favourite professor of yours, it could be a favour for someone you'll need for a job reference in the future, or it could be your friend who is searching for volunteers for an upcoming fundraiser. It's important to be realistic about whether you can take something on and to say no when the request will impact your writing schedule or have little benefit to you.

Before committing to anything, I always find it helpful to first ask a question. "When would you need it by?" Then I decide whether that would work for my schedule and respond accordingly. For example, I was contacted by the editors of a book to review a chapter on Saami music. Since they hadn't included a deadline in their email request, I immediately replied asking what their timeline was. It turned out that they expected a turn-around of two weeks. Since I had several other commitments during that period, I replied that I couldn't possibly provide a review until a date four weeks later. They agreed to my timeline and I booked time in my schedule to prepare the review by the deadline I had suggested. Of course, if they said they were firm on the two week turn-around, I would have suggested they contact someone else and I would not have agreed to do the review.

It's also important to consider whether the request is reasonable. Is it coming at the last minute or is the person contacting you early enough to allow you to find a way to work it into your schedule? Is it a relatively quick task that you can accomplish in a few hours, or are you likely to invest 40-50 hours of your precious time to complete it? Are you being asked to do it pro bono or will you be paid fairly for your work? I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't invest your time in worthy projects as a volunteer. I'm just saying you should know what you're getting into up front and make an informed decision.

You must also consider the true impact and benefit to you, your CV, and your future employment. There may be trade-offs and they may be worth it, but be sure you're realistic about it. For example, if you're a doctoral student and you're offered a course to teach part-way through a term because the professor teaching it has had a medical emergency, you need to think things through. It will result in a significant impact on the time you have available to complete your own research and writing goals (class time, office hours, prep time, marking, email exchanges with students, etc). However, if you are thinking about university teaching as a career, the course will look great on your CV, you'll have course evaluations to put into a dossier, you'll get to find out whether you really like teaching, and it may open the door to other teaching opportunities. The benefits may outweigh the impact to your research and writing schedule. In contrast, sitting at an info booth as a volunteer for four days during a conference may in fact have very little benefit for you, though you may feel good for having helped out and the organizers may have appreciated your work. Only you can decide whether that is worth the impact.

Again, I'm not saying that you shouldn't volunteer. Volunteers are critically important to society and volunteering is often the mark of a well-rounded individual in job searches. What I am saying is that you should do things that you love and are passionate about, and that will also have some benefit for you (such as feeling good about your contribution, having the opportunity to take on a leadership role, or learning a new skill). I'm also saying that you must be certain that you can fit whatever you commit to into your schedule and that it won't negatively impact your research and writing goals.

If you decide a request isn't reasonable, that it will negatively impact your own academic progress, or that it has little benefit to you, it's ok to say no. "I'm sorry, I'm not able to take on any additional commitments right now." If you know of someone who would genuinely be interested in the opportunity, you could also say, "You might want to check with so-and-so. She's been looking for a volunteer outlet recently."

It's true that saying no takes some practice. One strategy when asked to do something is to not respond immediately so that you don't feel like you're on the spot. My colleague who has lots of wisdom to share noted that she has started responding to requests by saying, "I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you." That takes the pressure off of having to answer right then and there. Instead, she really can take the time to check her schedule to see if she's free. It also buys time to think through the benefits and impacts of saying yes before making a decision. It's important with this strategy, however, to get back to the person as soon as possible with your decision -- don't use it as an avoidance tactic.

Finally, it's easier to say no if you already have a list of the types of activities you will not do or do not have time for. One of my colleagues calls this a "Not To Do List." It is a list of the types of things she is frequently asked to do that are of little benefit to her, don't align with her own volunteer priorities, or that she just doesn't like to do. For example, when I was a graduate student, I often would agree to write CD reviews for a quarterly publication of a music society. I did it because it would build my CD with something until I had legitimate publications based in my own research. I also did it to be involved in the society. Now, however, CD reviews are on my "Not To Do List." In the context of my CV, they offer very little benefit other than adding bulk. I am now a director for that society, so I am involved in other ways. Finally, I don't remember the last time I actually held a CD in my hands and, when you move as often as I have, they just become something else to lug around from one apartment or one province to the next. Now if I'm asked to review a CD, I say, "I'm sorry, I don't review CDs. Perhaps one of the graduate students in Memorial's ethnomusicology program would be interested?"

So what should be on your "Not To Do List"? Only you can know. Perhaps you won't add any new volunteer opportunities or you'll choose one cause (say, Multiple Sclerosis) and only volunteer in relation to that. You  might limit the types of volunteer activities you engage in (for example, if you feel really awkward selling tickets because you have no family in the area to force them upon). Maybe you feel like a book club would be "good for you" but you actually hate reading the books and going to discuss them -- just don't do it! The important thing here is to identify activities that you won't do and then actually write them down and post them somewhere near your schedule. That way, if you're asked to do something, like join yet another committee that will meet a lot and accomplish nothing, you can respond, "I'll have to check my schedule," and while you are checking your schedule, you can re-check your "Not To Do List."

Do you have a "Not To Do List"?